


If only.

by BlackLaceAndCrimsonRibbon



Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Auras, Eggsy can see auras, Harry Hart is not dead, Harry Lives, M/M, Soulmates, angst out the yang, color soulmates, feelings portrayed through color, its weird, kingsman - Freeform, major character death but not really, not a fix it, pre-fix it, there's a happy part though...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 15:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3983929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackLaceAndCrimsonRibbon/pseuds/BlackLaceAndCrimsonRibbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this is an abstract take on the whole "When you meet your soulmate you see in color AU" It is but it isn't, Eggsy can see auras and the darker the color the more painful it is unless it's like a passionate color. Everything is given off in a sense of color, and people's aura's and objects color's are different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If only.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a little note about Auras being different from perceived emotion, but then I realized they were the same thing... So I guess it's a bit confusing even to myself and this is super angsty but yeah... Hope you guys like it like you liked Heathford-Harold-Henry-Humphrey, which.. Thank You for the astounding response on that by the way. I woke up this morning with like 111 kudos and over a thousand hits. Thank You. These characters aren't mine, I just use them for temporary enjoyment even though they bring me more pain than joy.  
> Anyways.. Here's wonderwall.

Grey wasn't just a color, it was a state of mind, a state of being; and Eggsy was undeniably Grey.

His Mind, his emotions...He saw Grey, tasted Grey, slept Grey. He spoke and that was Grey too, his smiles were Grey plastic and the dead look in his eyes were London winters; bleak and yes,Grey.

Eggsy Unwin was, in every sense, Grey;Caught in the blah zone between okay and devastatingly broken. He was numb and tired, but he would take this mindless and endless Grey over what he decidedly put in a box and vowed never to think about...Well, with the exception that he  _did_ still think about it every fucking minute of every fucking day and it **_hurt_**. When the box opened on the occasion he was alone, which seemed to be often but in reality was not, he let himself sink into White. White is a common misunderstanding, the color of fresh snow...supposedly pure. The absolute acceptance of surrender. But in reality, especially in Eggsy's reality, White was the worst thing he's ever experienced. Everything came hailing down at once, a caucophany of emotion in a sickening and deadly display.

When the box he resolutely chooses to ignore with the stubborness of someone desperately in denial opens, he feels... felt  _everything_. Rusted anger, Navy Depression that felt like ink in his veins, Bleak Grey, and Violent Folly...

Folly kind of says something about the world...or at least it said something about Eggsy and how he loved as a person. Folly was a passionate color, associated with blood and love, anger, rage.... tints and shades of red were all things on the higher scale of emotion. The color Folly was purely a commentary on the human condition and it _sucked_. 

Eggsy knew Grey was safe, safe from all the hues of emotion that hit him like a bullet train every second he was living and breathing and acting as Galahad because  _dammit Harry_. The reason for his Grey was one of his own selfish making, but he would never regret what brought him here, would never regret Harry. When the older man was living the world around him lit up and was drenched in vibrancy. Emeralds, Ceruleans, Lavenders and Rose, His scent followed Eggsy everywhere...Sandalwood and Cinnamon, it was just so amazingly Harry. The world was alive and he was alive and everything was fine and nothing hurt. Pain wasn't pain because he knew Harry was there. The world was whole with Harry's calm aura in it. But, of course, Eggsy fucked it up and couldn't shoot JB whether it was a blank or not... It was so sudden and then everything was drowning, sinking to azure and slate. Harry was dead...he died angry, and that was something Eggsy would never forgive himself for. Hollowness took to his chest like a great weight and everything was dark and bleak and blue, the color of the night sky. There were no stars, there never would be again.

Eggsy boarded the plane, forgoing the princess because who really cared...Harry was gone. They picked up Roxy and she was exhilarating to be near because she had done it... She had become Lancelot. She had saved the world with Eggsy and Merlin, but as she calmed down the painful realization snuck in that half the world's population was in shambles. It made Eggsy squirm. Valentine and Gazelle were dead, and Eggsy was overly exhausted when the Grey set in; probably his brain protecting him. He sat in the seat watching as all the color bled from the world around him, the box entitled  _Harry Hart_ was closed and locked firmly shut, or so he thought. Eggsy still wakes up with a BANG! each night, the metallic taste of guilt in the back of his throat and the salt of his tears running down his face. The moonlight that slunk from under his curtains was White. Eggsy couldn't breath, he didn't want to breath. Harry Hart,  _his_ Harry, his soulmate...Eggsy couldn't finish the thought before everything turned so White he Blacked out. Ironic isn't it...The only time he saw color anymore was in dreams.

Grey was all Eggsy saw and tasted and felt and bled. Grey. **Grey.** _**Grey**_. Merlin gave him guilty, pitying looks when he thought Eggsy couldn't see, but he knew, because his aura gave it all away. Roxy continuously checked in on him, she had lost her entire family in V-Day...Most of the time it was Eggsy taking care of Roxy, which was okay because he needed someone to take care of. The world moved on and rebuilt in shades of Grey, and if only Eggsy knew of **_Project Avalon_** , if only Eggsy was told about the new Arthur before it was too late... If only Harry had the courage to seek him out, and find him, to comfort him in the wake of his loss. The damage of the church would and will continue to wreak havoc in Eggsy's mind, just like it does in Harry's. 

Eggsy sighed out a long breath, he could feel the drag of it as it escaped his throat. Every inhale was a challenge, he stared blankly at the wall ahead of him. The round table's massive expanse widened in front of him, The Kingsmen assembled 


End file.
